The Line for Good Teeth

When God was forming the line for Good Teeth, I was not in it. Instead, I was put in the lines for Small Wrists and Becomes Nauseous At The Drop of a Hat.

So, if you want to know anything about a root canal, ask me... 'cause I've had two in two months; the most recent being today.

Thank goodness for the three shots of Novocaine to my gums and five shots to the roof of my mouth. They numbed the whole left side of my face so well (including my nose and the outside corner of my eye) that I didn't feel any pain during the actual procedure. However, I did have to watch Regis and Kelly on the plasma TV mounted on the ceiling above my chair. That is sorta like pain. Then Madonna came on as a guest, and that was really like pain. Watching Madonna and listening to Kelly squeal while having your mouth propped open for nearly 45 minutes with a metal frame contraption is not my idea of fun. Not anywhere close.

My shots are now wearing off. I am feeling some pain. The swelling will begin. I am leaving work early. I would eat something comforting like chocolate or potato chips, but I am on the nutrition plan, so I may have water and some green beans.

However, I did recently learn that both gin & vodka are carb-free. That might be an option, too.