A Bottomless Tank

Last weekend I got a new (used) SUV. I'd been thinking about getting a new (used) SUV for awhile, but I wasn't thinking about it too seriously.

But then all of a sudden I woke up on Sunday morning and said, "I am going to buy a new (used) SUV."

And so I did.

Do not take this the wrong way, but I am not all that concerned with gas prices. I'm a little concerned, but not concerned enough to buy a hybrid car instead of a big 'ole SUV. Besides, I like the concept of buying low. SUV's are not popular right now, so you can get them at a good price.

And anyway, I'm sure sometime soon Barack and Hillary will turn this pitiful country completely around and gas will be 76 cents a gallon and John Edwards will be in charge of educating our children on morals and good behavior.

I love my SUV.

Adam loves it too, because not only does my SUV have a key that flips out when you "push 'da liddle button" , my SUV also apparently toots.

The little bugger is hearing some sort of noise in the SUV that sounds like a toot.

And I cannot, for the life of me, hear it.

At first the little two year old strapped in the back seat was accusing me of tooting!

Then I told him mom's do not toot.

Which somehow made him decide all girls are toot-less and only boys toot.

And I pretty much agreed. Because, quite frankly, after working for ten hours I did not have the patience to explain the birds and the bees of tooting to the two year old strapped in the back seat.

But the toot lessons... they did not stick.

Because the next day he started in on me again about the tooting.

Was it me tooting?
Why was I tooting?
Could he toot, too?
And could we toot together.

And then I had to remind him that I do not toot, nor do I cuss, or drink, or eat ice cream directly out of the carton, or take a huge handful of mints at Longhorn then slip out the door.

I'm clean. Lily white. Perfect.

I simply do not toot.

But I'm starting to think perhaps I should investigate this tooting a little more.

Wouldn't that be a toot and a holler.....

An SUV that never runs out of gas!