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That little guy over there is our son Adam, 3 hours old. Like all mothers, I couldn't take my eyes off him after he was born. I held him for hours. I thought he was the most perfect thing I'd ever seen. He was so much more than I hoped for. And so much more than I thought I deserved.
My first thought when I saw him was, "I can't believe he has such long eyelashes."
And, for as much as I thought in those early days about how he looked, I also pondered his personality. Would he be stubborn, feisty, laid back? Quick to smile or ask for a hug? The class clown, or bookish? Would those little hands grow to throw a mean curve ball or fly over the piano keys making music?
So, last night, as I was bending to kiss his little toes through the spindle of the crib, part of our nighttime ritual, it suddenly hit me how many things that little guy there in the photo has brought into my world that are uniquely his own.
The way he greets me when I pick him up at school:
"shoes!, shoes!, mama! shoes!"
His fascination with screw-on lids and the things on which they fit.
The ever-present "mo, mo" for "no", accompanied by a firm shake of the finger. This is not to be confused with "uh-uh" and a shake of the head, which most of the time means "yes."
The one-word names for all of his favorite books:
See, Tractor, Baby, Kitty, God
The very grown-up way he knocks on the door at Sunday School before going inside.
I realize none of these are extraordinary, though most of them are pretty darn cute. I realize I'm just another mom who has stories to tell about her son. I realize there will be things he will do and habits he will form in the not-too-distant future that I won't want to tell anyone.
I realize from the minute he was born he will be mine for awhile, but not forever. I realize part of loving is letting go, one finger at a time.
But until I had a child I didn't realize how perfect and planned every little thing was. From his eyelashes, to his toes, to his knock, they are his very own.
And for all that he does, and all that he is, I also know that I couldn't possibly ask for more.
18 comments:
That is a great post and a precious picture!
What a precious picture!
I think that he looks perfect too!
Awwww Jill..he's so precious. They ARE a blessing, aren't they? I love the fact that they do teach us each and everyday.
Hugs to you both.
:-) Susan
Jill, you're making me all teary! I've been so weepy lately because my little Zack is going to be a Senior and is turning 17 this Sunday. It seems like just yesterday he would jump on my lap and want me to rock him. I'm really having a hard time with the "letting go" part. Every time we talk about College, big tears well up in my eyes. Ummm, okay, I have to stop writing now and go find a tissue!
Cherish those moments...
Jill that was so well said and written. I love your heart and comes shinning through.
Sweet, loving post and oh so true!
Susan
What a beautiful post! I sometimes just want to stop time so I can treasure these things a little longer!
This is such a beautiful picture of your son! They grow up so fast so it's nice to remember when they were so tiny!
Okay Jill, this almost made me cry!
sweet little guy.
Just precious!
BTW: You won the BABY Name Book! Drop me your address at JLHalsted (at)hotmail (dot)com and I'll get it on it's way to you!
You made me cry with that post. It's so true. And having Alysa, made me appreciate even more what is each there own. I so love their ways of saying words and communicating.
That picture is too precious as well. Thanks for a very inspiring post.
Sniff...sniff...sniff. Wipe the tears.....Okay, I am better now.
What a great post! So well put. I feel like time with my daughter has flown so fast I hardly remember it. And with my son I just wish I could stop it or slow it down A LOT so I could make sure I remember every precious part.
What a perfect little cutie pie!!
Oh what a sweet post with a gorgeous photo too! It made me think of the old song "Turn Around". Remember it? It's about a little girl, but the story is the same for a boy...they grow up so fast!
TURN AROUND
Where are you going my little one, little one,
Where are you going, my baby, my own?
Turn around and you'er two,
Turn around and you're four,
Turn around and you're a young girl
Going out of the door.
Where are you going my little one, little one,
Little pigtails and petticoats where have you gone,
Turn around and you're tiny,
Turn around and you're grown,
Turn around and you're a young wife,
With babes of your own.
Turn around, turn around,
Turn around and you're a wife,
With babes of your own.
Hugs!
Kat
Such a sweet post. I read somewhere on a blog that we go from conductor to observer in our children's lives when they grow up. I have to tell you, too, your profile photo is just lovely.
I enjoyed reading this post about your son.... Thank you for sharing! I too have a son and I cherish him every moment of every single day.
Enjoy those toe-kissing rituals, Jill, because, well, just enjoy them NOW! I loved Kat's words, and remember well that song! It seems but just a moment and they're grown!!
He's so cute! They are so precious at that age. Enjoy it.
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