Conversations from the Back Seat #4943

{on the way home from school}

I have to stop at CVS to pick something up. You may get either gummy bears or Skittles. Do not ask me for anything else.

Not even a toy?

No. No toys. We are going to run in and out and I do not want you asking for anything other than what I just said you could have.

What did you say I can have?

Gummy bears or Skittles.

What about Spree?

Or Spree.

Do dey have costumes dere?

No. Halloween is over.

But I wanted a Wolverine costume.

Even if they had one you would not be getting one. Your birthday and Christmas are coming up and this is not the time to be asking me to buy you something just because.

Because why?

Because this particular errand is not about you. I'm getting what I need, you can get your treat and we are outta there. No fit-throwing.

If I tell you dat I won't frow a fit, can we just look at da toys and not buy anything?

No.

Den I am gonna frow a fit because I really want ta look at all dose toys.

Well, throw the fit now before we get to the store.

My fit's not ready to be frowed yet.

How much longer until it's ready.

It cannot be frowed until I get into da store. Da toys need ta be able ta see me frow da fit 'cause dey need to know I really want ta buy dem.

Well, in that case, I guess I'll just go to CVS another day and we will just go home.

I don't know if I can hold my fit 'til da next day. It really needs da be frowed now. And you should know you are making all dose toys really, really sad. Dey wanted to be buyed.

Actually, I think they probably want to go home with a sweet little boy who would never think of throwing a fit because he didn't get his way.

I wasn't going ta frow a fit because I didn't get my way. I was going ta frow a fit because I didn't get my TOY.

{pulling into CVS parking lot}

We're here. If you disobey me in this store, it will not be pretty. Not only will you not get your candy treat, you will get in big trouble with me right in front of everyone.

OK. My fit is gone.

That was fast. I didn't even hear it.

Dat's because I frowed it out da car window and you runned over it.

{and the road-kill mother and her fit-free son held hands and rode off in the glow of the CVS}