Conversations from the Backseat #4946

Mom, I am so glad it was not St. Pad-rick's Day again at school today.  I juss do not like all dose sham-rah fings and all dat silly stuff. 

Not into St. Patrick's Day, huh?  Truthfully, I'm not either. 

And all dose teachers juss kept talkin' ta me about wearing dat silly sham-rah hat we made and I juss keep sayin' dose are only for girls.  And next time someone says ta wear dat sham-rah hat I will juss cover my ears.

I thought your shamrock hat got lost.  Remember we were looking for it in your classroom and we couldn't find it?

Dat's because I ripped it up and frew it behind da bookcase by da blue carpet.  And do not tell.  'Cause dat fing was drivin' me nuts! 

OK, your secret's safe with me.  I will not breathe a word about the ripped up hat being stashed behind the bookcase. 

And den when Miss F couldn't find my hat she gave me dat stupid green fing dat goes around your neck like a necklace and I do not like dat silly fing either.

Well, that's at home. 

I know.  'Cause last night you put it on my table and I told you I do not like it and I put it on your kitchen counter and den later I saw dat you put it back on my table.  Dat juss made me so mad.

Well, buddy.  I cannot tell you how happy I am St. Patrick's Day is over.  I had no idea it bothered you so much.  Easter is coming up.  Do you like Easter?

Is dat da one wiff dat bunny? 

Well, yes. 

I don't like dat one either.  I only like Halloween 'cause we can watch Charlie Brown and da Great Pumpkin.  And I can dress up like Hulk.

Yep.  I love that show.  And I love Hulk.

He has really big fists and dey can juss pound every-fing.

Yes.  But did you remember Hulk is green, just like St. Patrick's Day?

Oh man.  When I get home I am runnin' upstairs to check on my Hulk costume.  If it has sham-rahs on it I am frowin' it in da trash.

I think it will be fine.

Will you come wiff me to check it out?  'Cause if I open my chest and dose little green people from da St. Pad-rick's Day jump out I will be terrified.  I hate dose fings too.  I juss won't be able to ever get away from St. Pad-rick's Day stuff. 

I am sure Hulk would pound them with his fists. 

He would try but dose little green men would eat him.  Dey love to eat green Hulks.

Is there anything at all you like that is green?  Certainly there is.

Yes.  Money.  I loooooove money.  Especially dose one dollars you give me wiff da picture of da dead man on it.

Well, mom and dad make money when we go to work and then we use it to pay for things like our house, our cars, our clothes and our food.

And don't forget my gummy bears.  You buy da gummy bears wiff it.

Yes, sometimes we do.  For a treat.

So, keep on goin' ta work because den you will have money which is da only green fing I like.

I love you, son.  You're a brave boy to have made it through St. Patrick's Day.

I love you too mom.  And your money.