If You Give a Mom an Hour...

alone in the house
on a Sunday afternoon
she will finally get around
to cleaning out those overflowing toy bins.

And then she needs another trash bag (or sixteen)
so she will go upstairs to get one (or sixteen)
because the trashbags upstairs are not very good
and she doesn't want to waste the good ones in the kitchen.

Once she gets upstairs
she remembers she hasn't made her bed.
And speaking of bed, this is a good time to bring down the sheets
on the 4yo's bed so she can wash them.

And speaking of laundry
she might as well gather up all the bath towels
so there will be a fresh clean stack for the coming week
or at least for the next two days.

But before she can take the dirty laundry downstairs
she must first put away the clean laundry sitting on the floor in a basket
and also the stack of t-shirts that have been sitting on her dresser
since last Wednesday.

Because she was going to sort through her t-shirts last Wednesday
before she put the clean laundry away
but she got sidetracked before she got around to sorting the t-shirts
and that's why they are still sitting there four days later.

But as she begins to put the clean laundry away
she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror
and decides she should put on some makeup
and run a brush through her hair.

And then she remembers the new lipgloss she bought at Target
sitting in the bag on the floor next to the clean laundry
that she needs to put away
before she can take the dirty laundry downstairs.

So she trys on the new lipgloss and likes it a lot
and then decides she should put away the other stuff from Target
sitting on the floor in the bag
next to the clean laundry that needs to be put away.

And after she puts away the Target stuff
(looking
a little bit better in her new lipgloss)
she remembers she needs to make her bed
and put away the laundry.

But first she hears the oven beep downstairs
reminding her about the cookies she is going to bake
except there is one small problem
the cookies aren't mixed up yet.

So she goes downstairs to mix up the cookies
but first she decides to put away the large skillet sitting in the dish drainer
because she cannot stand seeing the large skillet sitting in the dish drainer
let alone mix up cookies seeing it sitting there in the dish drainer.

So then she needs eggs for the cookies
and when she opens the refrigerator
a can of Diet Coke falls out on her foot and cuts her toe
so she goes upstairs to get a bandaid cussing under her breath cussing up a storm.

And she remembers the laundry that needs to be put away
and she miraculously manages to do that
all the while reminding herself
about the cookies downstairs waiting to be mixed up.

But she cannot bring herself to go downstairs empty-handed
and waste a perfectly good trip
so she gathers up all the dirty laundry
and puts it in the now-empty laundry basket.

But before she goes downstairs
she tells herself she really should make the bed
so she makes the bed and then decides this is a great time
to change out of her pitiful looking not to mention very old sweats
lounge pants.

So she changes into jeans pitiful looking but not quite as old sweat pants
and snatches up the basket of dirty laundry
and heads downstairs
to finally make those cookies.

And just as she gets the cookies mixed up
all her sweet little children come home
and one of the sweet little children asks her if she feels ok
because the sweet little child thinks she looks sorta tired.

And the mom who has had an hour alone to herself
makes a mental note that that sweet little child with the radar for tired
will be in bed no later than 8pm because she is worn to a frazzle
and wants to watch TV in peace, with only red wine and a few cookies for company.

So it just goes to show you....
If you give a mom an hour alone inside the house
She will spin in circles without getting much accomplished
And she'll definitely need lots of lipgloss, red wine and several cookies to make it through the day.

The End.