Bras, Panties and Booze...Amen


There I was in Kohl's Sunday afternoon - just minding my own business - on a mission for new bras and panties.

I'd left the guys at home doing more manly things like building bike ramps and throwing footballs.

Besides, when it comes to comfort, fit, and style of foundation garments, wise buying decisions are crucial and concentration is a must. These things cannot be rushed.

Say it with me...Fight the frump and lift it up!

With an arm full of my favorite underwear, and several bras dangling on hangers from my fingers, who should I encounter on the way to the check-out but a family from our church.

Isn't that the way it always goes? Why couldn't I run into one of my girlfriends? We'd compare panty styles and cup sizes. Or, how about a sales clerk? Every run into one of those in a store?

Me either.

So, small talk with the church family ensued.

"Fine, fine. We're good."
Maybe I can just shove this bundle of panties a little further under my arm.

"No, we haven't had the flu at our house, thank goodness."
How do I gracefully wad up these dangling bras?

Finally we said our good-byes and I was free to stand in a long line with my panties and bras in full view. At that point, the church family had already seen it all, so what did I have to hide?

This reminded me of another church family encounter I had recently, this time in the check-out lane at Kroger. I had a cart full of beer; we were having a party. And who should happen to wheel up in line behind me but our neighbor, who also goes to our church.

And she doesn't drink.

I know this because we once visited the Sunday School taught by her husband and he said, as part of the lesson, "We don't drink alcohol at our house because we feel it's not a godly example to our children. In fact, studies prove children who witness their parents drinking are 50% more likely to become alcoholics when they grow up."

So, there I was, with my stash of beer, making small talk with the non-drinking, church-going neighbor married to the Sunday School teacher.

Then along came a helpful grocery store clerk to unload all my alcohol, all the while loudly expounding on his love for beer!, wine!, and the awesome frozen drinks they once served him in Jamaica!

Now, as I walk the halls of my church, I can't help but think I may run into both of these families at the same time some blessed Sunday morning.

And they will greet me by saying, "Hello lace-panty-wearing, beer-guzzling size 34B".



Susan :

You make me laugh & smile!!!!

Momma Roar :

They've gotta wear underwear too, don't they? And, I'm sure they guzzle something! :D

I need to go on a mission for some new things too - maybe I'll head another town over just so I don't run into anyone from church, ha!!!

Tricia :

Oh my goodness, I needed that laugh this morning!! Thanks for sharing!!!

jeanetta :

oh my gooosh thats the best!!!

Amber Kay :

I think that ranks right up there with running to the store, just to get tampons.
You run in the store and get into line...with tampons in hand. Just then...everyone and their dog, brother and sister (that you know of course) gets into line behind you.
Sometimes I just want to announce, "Yes, ladies and gentlemen...I got my period today and Playtex is my brand of choice!"

Just Mom :


Lauren@Baseballs&Bows :

So funny! Thanks for making me smile on this gloomy day!

Sonya :

Seriously, coke came out of my nose! This happens to me every time I buy undergarments! As for the beer and wine, the same thing happens to me. I get all nervous around the people who are not drinkers because I don't want to offend them. However, the Bible doesn't speak against the use of alcohol, only the abuse. I'm getting better at not feeling so bad about it. After all, God made it and all he makes is good. To beat it all, we don't buy a lot of beer anymore because my hubby brews his own! LOL!

The Summer Kitchen Interiors :

It never fails! Thanks for the chuckle!!
Karla & Karrie

Linda :

I just fond your blog and THIS made my day, I've had the same thing happen:(

CR :

That cracks me up! Thanks for sharing your story.

Vader's Mom :

So true, so true.

I love your writing style and I've really missed you!!

justabeachkat :

So funny! Hey, I can top that. How about running into an old boyfriend at the store as the clerk is ringing up your tampons?! Not funny when you're 15!

Funny post!


Given Grace :

Great post! How true! Only in these situations when we least want to run into anyone we know. It's either this or the one time you run out without your hair and makeup done, your bound to run into your old boyfriend or someone you havent seen in years!!!

Thanks for a great laugh

*carrie* :


That's funny! It makes me think of a story I read on Beth Moore's blog where she ran into a store to quickly buy some tampons, and the guy in line behind her recognized her and wanted to ask all about her ministry, etc.

Since we live in a small town, we always run into people we know everywhere. I'm sure you remember what that's like, too!

Lynne :

Last year, I had taken Shelby to Target to buy some bras. Of course, the only cashiers available were teenage boys who went to her school. Needless to say, we left the store empty-handed.

For me - I don't care anymore who sees what I buy.

Lisa :

Isn't it funny how stuff like that happens? Must be a Murphey's Law thing.

Tonja :

How funny! It never fails to happen. You run into people at the times you don't want to the most! Thanks for the chuckle!

Brenda :

This is the funniest thing I've ever heard. Thanks for the laugh!!

Sher's Creative Expressions :

Hi, I stumbled upon your blog from someone elses. I enjoyed reading your posts.

Some advice:

1. Use a stroller cart at Kohl's to store those "unmentionables!"

2. Buy your beer the next town over from your church LOL!!



Melissa in Mel's World :

Sweet...sounds like some of the crazy stuff that happens to me!!!

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