Since I turned 40 last November, it seems as if the upkeep on my person has increased at least 10-fold.
Maybe it's just a figment of my imagination. Maybe all the fluff 'n stuff hasn't really changed that much. Maybe it just takes me longer to get it all done. Or maybe the boost I get from all the primping and prodding doesn't last as long as it once did.
In any event, I feel like my maintenance is practically a part-time job.
In the last three weeks I've been manicured, pedicured, highlighted, massaged, waxed and cosmetically scraped. My hair's been cut, my teeth cleaned, and one tooth has been filled. I've been prescribed medications and even special toothpaste.
The labels on my lotions and potions now read "hydrating", "anti-aging" and "illuminating." That natural glow of youth seems a little less bright these days.
A shower no longer involves a simple shampoo, condition, lather and rinse. I now must color-protect, deep moisturize and exfoliate.
And after the shower...oh my! There's the concealing, powdering, and camoflaging - not to mention what lies ahead after I get dressed.
I guess this all means I'm either one step closer to the old folks home...
or I'm becoming Paris Hilton - without the money and multiple DUI's.