A Few Incidental Charges


Yesterday I took some framing orders for a person way up on the food chain of Delta Airlines. He was demanding, to say the least. Every little detail was scrutinized, belabored, questioned, bartered and then changed.

As I was faxing the invoices to his office, I was very tempted to include the following :

Paper printing surcharge - $56
Federally mandated carpentry tax - $86
Telephone dialing fee - $22
Making up your mind for you - $80
Requoting quota tax - $102
Credit card processing fee - $15
Having English speaking employees - $1000
Losing my mind - $2000
Finding my mind and placing back in my skull - $2000
Breathing - $43

Disclaimer: This frame may or may not be done when scheduled. It may or may not be delivered as promised. It may or may not be delivered at all, because we may or may not lose it somewhere between here and there.

Things such as weather, flying birds, acts of God or employee incompetence are out of our control and though we will try to reschedule your frame, we may or may not be able to do so.

Everything else regarding this frame is out of our control.

We appreciate you!

Have a nice day!

Please frame with us again, unless we go out of business before you have something to frame because George Bush keeps raising the price of frames.


Amber Kay :

My favorite fee is the luggage fee.
"Thanks for booking your flight with us! However if you want to bring clothes with you on your 1 week vacation please hand over your cash card!"

annie :

I'd charge way more for breathing. Way more.

Sandra :

LOL that is too funny.

I agree with Amber Kay, the luggage fees are ridiculous.

justabeachkat :

Too funny! I agree with every single charge!


(I have a special award waiting for you. Stop by when you get a chance.)

Susan :

A very bad day!!!!

Linda :

Handling stress with humor. I love it!

jeanetta :

omgosh i laughed sooo hard!

Belle (from Life of a...) :


Just Mom :


Lauren@Baseballs&Bows :

You are so funny! I am going to come back and read this again later just for fun!

Susan :


YOU CRACK ME UP!! I have someone (though no where important on the food chain) that I'd like to send a similar email!!!!

Preppy Pink Crocodile :

My favorite is the breathing charge! Too funny!

clemsongirlandthecoach :

Love it! Great post.

I'll be back!

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