Just Like Being In College, Except I'm Not

6.08.2009

To figure the recovery time from a little too much vodka + tonic at the pool Friday night....

take age of toddler divided by the number of times he came into darkened, quiet room the next morning

multiply by the number of windows closed tightly trying to keep out the light plus the number of weed whackers and lawn mowers rattling said windows

invert with the square root of the number of Saturday morning appointments hubby had to cancel and/or handle himself on my behalf

subtract an entire Saturday morning lost to woozy slumber

then go ahead and subtract the whole darn day

raise sum to the power of number of loads of laundry needing to be done

invert the diameter of half the circumference of the pizza eaten Sunday morning at 10am

add the ratio of Extra-Strength Tylenol to glasses of water

assign factor "zero" to the desire to get in ice cold pool water with toddler Sunday afternoon

add 100 for doing it any way

assign factor "double zero" for the desire to ever drink vodka again

add 1,000 for getting to work Monday morning
at 8amat a reasonable time looking pretty much like nothing happened...even remembered to put on watch and earrings.

Happy Monday, y'all.

Happy Monday.

22 comments:

Wendy (An Iowa Mom) :

LOVE IT!

I was feeling the same way Saturday morning, after hanging out and "playing" in the pool Friday afternoon/evening. Only I had to spend an entire (and I mean ENTIRE) day at the ball park watching baseball starting at 7am Saturday morning and not really returning until 8pm Sunday night. Yeah ... 6 ball games, 2 of which were played in the rain.

Not much fun with a hangover.

But I'm sure there will be a repeat performance before then summer is over. HA!

Happy Monday right back at ya!

Mom on the Run :

The worst for us is always the Pilgrimage preview party. Half the town gets totally tanked and then we all have to be up at the crack of dawn at the front door of an historic house welcoming the throngs of visitors.

Every year. We never learn and we're all old people now!

Hope you're feeling better today!

Jillian :

LOL. You must have been a math major. :0)

So the answer to the equation is:

Vodka=Bad

Funny post!

Nadine :

What a weekend. Thanks for the laugh. Glad you recovered.

Wacie's Way :

Oh, I feel for you!! I always need a greasy cheeseburger and a coke to help my hangover.

KK :

Too funny! Though you likely were feeling rather unfunny yesterday.

Pink Martini :

My upper lip began to sweat just reading your math terms. I was never good at word problems but this one I knew the answer to. ;)

Kari :

Very funny! I'm just too old to make it through hangovers anymore, LOL!

Tina Leigh :

Well....hummmm.....ahha.....K....so all that calculating has made me feel like I was the one drinking! LOL Too funny!

CRICKET :

Thats the only thing I don't like about turning 40 this year. If I let loose for a couple hours it take me a couple days to recover!!!

Pearls To Hide My Neck :

If I could drink now the way I could when I was in college, I would be JUST fine. It's embarrassing how much time it takes to recover now. Sad.

Tonja :

I've never been good at any math that requires me to do more than count on the fingers of both hands...so, I think that math problem means that if you want to feel like a '10' drink '0' vodka. That is in kindergarten terms. :)

Scarlet O'Kara :

WOW...I wasn't even drinking poolside with you, but after reading about it...I'm woozie too!

Hillcrest Acres :

Funny post!!! LOL!

I feel for you. Hangovers are no fun!! The older I get, the longer they last and the worse I feel. What happened to the good ol' days in college when I could drink way more and not feel as bad?

Jennifer (mom of four) :

Oh Jillian! I loved this post! I am so glad I am not the only one that this has happened too! I used to close the bars down in College and now think I am still that young! Ha!! I had a similar moment about a month ago. Husband had to take the kids to soccer in OK all by himself..I could not get out of bed!

Thanks for the great post!

The 5 Bickies :

I don't even think my college cure all of a coke and pop tart would have helped. Love the math problem format...you are very clever!

Kat :

I love vodka and tonic with a twist of lime, but Vodka affects me more than any other drink for some reason. I'm very careful with it. I learned my lesson. Finally!

Cute post!

Hugs!
Kat

Heidi :

That was unbelievable!

I too, have had a few bad hangovers as a mom. It sucks because you can't go back to bed until noon like you could when you were younger.

Oh well!

melissa :

LOL, too funny. I am such a light weight, or as my college boys like to call me, 'a 2 beer queer' ... even though I don't even drink beer ;)

Jules :

You're so funny and this equation makes plenty of sense! I can't imagine how I'll feel after one too many drinks once I have kids :)

MissJody :

Ha! Ha! Ha!
Been there.done that.
Know how you feel.
Great post!! Lol!!:0
Love it.
Very well put!

Semi-Slacker Mom :

Isn't it awful to find out, you're not as young as you used to be, the hard way!

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